Intimidated much???

I have been pondering a question for a while now. "Do you think you intimidate guys because you are so independent?"  My answer is...yes.  However I don't see it as the kind of independence that is like owning my own home or making my own dinner.  I see it as a spiritual independence.

Now I know that most people think that women are supposed to be much more spiritual than men.  Well that is not how I see it.  In the Bible it is clear that women are supposed to submit to their husbands.  "As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:24 To me this means that I need to be led by my husband spiritually.

So if I am to be led by my husband spiritually that means that I need to find a guy that will be so intertwined with God that my heart gets tangled up along with him.  How awesome would that be to just be a heart tangled mess with my husband and God.  Sounds like a plan!  There is only one problem....we have trained our men to not be emotional and show their passion for God.  GREAT!  So now I have to look even harder to find him under society.

Another problem is the fact that I am growing spiritually everyday.  God is rocking my world right now with blessings.  I can't even imagine turning around and going back to who I used to be.  So not only do I have to search for a guy that will show his passion but now he has to have more passion than I have...and I am pretty passionate.

My goal is to become the Proverbs 31 women.

 10Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
      She is more precious than rubies.
 11 Her husband can trust her,
      and she will greatly enrich his life.
 12 She brings him good, not harm,
      all the days of her life.

 13 She finds wool and flax
      and busily spins it.
 14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
      bringing her food from afar.
 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
      and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
 16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
      with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 17 She is energetic and strong,
      a hard worker.
 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
      her lamp burns late into the night.
 19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
      her fingers twisting fiber.
 20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
      and opens her arms to the needy.
 21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
      for everyone has warm[c] clothes.
 22 She makes her own bedspreads.
      She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
 23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
      where he sits with the other civic leaders.
 24 She makes belted linen garments
      and sashes to sell to the merchants.
 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
      and she laughs without fear of the future.
 26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
      and she gives instructions with kindness.
 27 She carefully watches everything in her household
      and suffers nothing from laziness.
 28 Her children stand and bless her.
      Her husband praises her:
 29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
      but you surpass them all!”
 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
      but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
 31 Reward her for all she has done.
      Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

That is who I am struggling to be.  It is a tough road but it is an exciting journey.  If God can outline the characteristics of a Godly woman imagine what His standards are for Godly men.  That is what I want.  I want the guy who is not afraid to raise his hands in worship or witness to someone who needs Christ.  I want the guy who God is molding for me and if that means that I intimidate a few guys along the way then I guess that means I am just weeding them out faster. 

So...yes I am independent and yes I probably intimidate some guys but I am ok with that because I am being the woman that God destined for me to be and I am just waiting for my other half to complete me so we can become one big tangled mess of love for God and each other. 

CONVERSATION

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