Today was just one of those days. One of those days that you lose focus and forget why you are here. One of those days that you just feel like quitting and going home. One of those days that you feel like you made the wrong choice. Today was just one of those days.

I am usually a morning person. I love the mornings. I like waking up and taking my time to get ready but lately I have just been so exhausted that I have not gotten to enjoy my mornings. Today was definitely one of those mornings.

After a great message in church I thought that maybe my spirits would be lifted a little but they were not. The gloom of my bad mood hung around well into the afternoon. I spent my afternoon watching past sermons from my church in Oklahoma and then realized that it was baptism Sunday at NORTH. I immediately felt my heart drop into my stomach and the homesickness started quickly.

After watching the first baptism any normal person would feel joyful and excited that people that they knew were giving their life to God. But I was not any normal person today. I was a selfish person. It was all about me and how I felt. So to keep feeling the "oh poor Callie" feeling...I kept watching. I kept thinking about all the things I was missing back home. I started to think "did I really make the right choice?" "Should I really be in England right now and not in OK?" "What if I would have stayed...where would I be?" Satan really had the questions for me this morning.

After spending a few minutes feeling sorry for myself and shedding multiple tears I realized what I was doing. I had so many people around me that are great people and have been put into my life and I was spending my time crying over something that I cannot change. How unfair is that to everyone around me? It wasn't until I got into Planet Kids for the night service that I realized why I am in England. I had forgotten that I was called here to be a voice. I was called to speak life into their precious lives. I was called to be an influence and a role model. Why would anybody want to be like me today???

It really made me think about why I am here and what I am doing. I think that the biggest thing I learned today is that not all days are easy. Some days I am going to be homesick. Some days I am going to feel like a failure. Some days will not be a walk in the park. BUT! It is on those days that I need to work extra hard to do what I have been called to do. It is those days that I need to pray more and stress less about the future. It is those days that I need to look at my kids in PK and remember why I am here. To be a light in their lives.

Everyday is not a walk in the park...but everyday is a gift from God. Today I am thankful for the realization of how silly I have been today and today I am thankful for the grace to start over tomorrow.